Its been a few weeks since I’ve posted. It’s been a few busy, hot, tiring weeks. During that time, I’ve felt pushed and pulled and smooshed by this whole mom job. This has all got me thinking a lot about the line, “You are the potter, I am the clay.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever made pottery or seen the process, but I have. I can’t see how this process is comfortable at all for the clay. In fact, it looks quite painful. First the clay is kneaded and pressed. And that’s just to get started. Then, it all depends on what the clay is meant to be. If it’s to become a flat piece, it’s rolled through a press to remove any air bubbles. This can be needed many time to get it smooth and bubble-free. If it’s meant to be a rounded piece, thrown on a wheel, it’s kneaded more and then pressed and pushed and smooshed into place as the wheel turns at quite a fast speed.
I’m feeling the process right now as a mom. I’m having the doubts and anxieties about my abilities and the future pressed out of me over and over again. I’m feeling my selfish tendencies and desires smooshed out as life whirls at a nauseating speed. I’m mourning the rough corners of my self that are being cut away.
I’m not going to lie, it’s not always comfortable. I want to resist. But do you know what happens to tough clay? It’s run back through a mill and then water is added. It’s kneaded over and over until the water is absorbed and the clay becomes soft. And in the same way, it gets harder for me until I soften and absorb God’s direction for me.
The line “You are the potter, I am the clay” is a nice thought, but a tough process to live. I just have to hope that whatever I am being shaped for is extremely useful and quite beautiful too.